Joke A Day's Nasty Jokes (Volume 1)

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All Joke A Day e-books contain MATURE MATERIAL and are not meant for those easily offended.

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Joke Samples

This Chinese guy walks into a bar. There's a black bartender tending bar. The Chinese guy says, Ahh, give me a jigger, nigger.

Naturally, this pisses off the black man something terrible. Yo, asshole, I didn't appreciate that. How'd you like it if I wuz da customah and I came in here and said something derogatory to yer yeller ass? How would YOU feel, Jack?

The Chinese guy thinks for a moment, says, Hokay. Sounds like deal to me. He grabs the black man's rag from his hand, *jumps* over the bar, and says, Now, you go outside, come back in, say something stupid, and we'll see how I feel.

The black guy walks out from behind the bar, out the door, lets the door close. Three seconds later, he struts back thru the same door, walks up the counter, and addresses the Chinese guy. Yo, Chink, give me a drink.

The Chinese guy says, Ahh, so sorry, we don't serve niggers here.

Two necrophiles work in a morgue, and one of them tells the other one: You should have seen this woman they brought in last week. They pulled her out of the water after she'd been there for three weeks. Man, I'm tellin' you, she had a clitoris just like a pickle.
What, the other asks, green?
No, says the first, sour.
The firemen finally get a huge fire under control, and Chief Mattea has all of his men accounted for except Olson and Rosolino. After a few minutes' search, the chief looks down an alley, and there's Rosolino, leaning over a trash can. His pants are down to his ankles, and Olson is banging away from behind.
Chief Mattea says, What the hell is going on?
Olson says, Rosolino passed out from smoke inhalation.
The chief says, Smoke inhalation? You're supposed to give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation!

Olson says, I did, Chief. That's how this shit got started.